Apple and IBM announce something in corporate-speak

You might've seen the announcement from Apple and IBM about some sort of partnership. I didn't really understand it. It's a good thing that Russell Ivanovic has decoded it for you and me.

Yeah we don’t know what this means either, but it sounds pretty sweet right? I mean ‘fused’, ‘big data’, ‘consultants’ and ‘analytics’ all in one paragraph. If you don’t need to take a cold shower after reading that, you’re just not hooked up right.

I've seen loads of corporate-speak PR crap in the past. I never understood why companies write so much waffle that means so little. I guess it lives on because corporate middle-managers never got fired for buying from IBM.